Bullying is a painful experience that can affect a child’s self-esteem, mental health, and academic performance. In Malaysia and Singapore, where children are often part of diverse, multicultural school environments, bullying can happen in many forms—physical, verbal, social, or even digital. Many children hesitate to speak up, making it crucial for parents to recognise the warning signs.
This article outlines the subtle and not-so-subtle signs your child may be experiencing bullying and what steps you can take to help.
Why Children Don’t Always Tell
Children may keep silent about bullying because:
- They feel ashamed or embarrassed
- They fear retaliation from the bully
- They think adults won’t believe or help them
- They worry it will get worse if they speak up
- They don’t know how to express what’s happening
That’s why it’s important for parents to be observant and supportive without jumping to conclusions.
Emotional and Behavioural Signs
- Sudden mood changes
If your child becomes unusually withdrawn, anxious, or depressed, it may indicate they’re facing emotional stress. - Loss of interest in school or activities
Children who once enjoyed school, extracurricular activities, or social events may start avoiding them. - Unexplained anger or irritability
Sudden outbursts or increased sensitivity to small issues could be a sign they’re feeling overwhelmed. - Changes in sleeping or eating habits
Trouble sleeping, nightmares, or loss of appetite can stem from emotional distress.
Academic or School-Related Signs
- Drop in academic performance
Bullying can distract a child from learning, leading to falling grades or lack of concentration. - Frequent complaints of physical ailments
Children may fake headaches or stomach aches to avoid going to school. - Reluctance to go to school or ride the bus
A child might beg to stay home or act out during school mornings due to fear of encountering the bully. - Damaged or missing belongings
Lost books, torn uniforms, or broken items may indicate someone is targeting them.
Physical Signs
- Unexplained injuries
Scratches, bruises, or other injuries with vague explanations could suggest physical bullying. - Frequent illness with no medical cause
Chronic complaints without a clear reason may point to stress or anxiety caused by bullying.
Social Signs
- Avoiding friends or social situations
If your child suddenly distances themselves from their peer group, they may be facing social exclusion. - Loss of close friendships
A sudden shift in their social circle or being left out of parties or group activities can be a red flag. - Reluctance to use social media or phone
A child who avoids their phone or reacts anxiously to notifications may be experiencing cyberbullying.
What Parents Can Do
1. Start a Calm, Supportive Conversation
Approach your child gently and express your concern. Avoid accusing or forcing them to talk.
Try open-ended questions like:
- “You seem a bit down lately. Want to talk about what’s going on?”
- “Is everything okay at school?”
- “Have you ever felt uncomfortable or hurt by anyone there?”
2. Listen Without Judgement
Let your child talk without interruption. Validate their feelings and reassure them that it’s not their fault.
3. Involve the School
Once you’re aware of bullying, contact your child’s teacher or school counsellor. Most schools in Singapore and Malaysia have anti-bullying policies in place.
4. Build Their Confidence
Encourage participation in activities that boost self-esteem. Praise their strengths and reassure them they’re not alone.
5. Teach Them How to Respond
Help them practise what to say or do if they’re bullied. Teach them to:
- Stay calm and walk away
- Seek help from a trusted adult
- Avoid retaliating with violence
6. Monitor Their Mental Health
If your child shows signs of severe anxiety, depression, or self-harm, seek help from a mental health professional.
Bullying is a serious issue that can leave lasting emotional scars. As a parent, staying vigilant, keeping open lines of communication, and responding with support can make all the difference. When children know they’re not alone and that their feelings are valid, they’re more likely to open up and seek help.
Empower your child not only to cope with bullying but to grow stronger through the experience.
